shared good grief

Last spring, shortly after moving to Giessen, I learned that a close friend of my neighbor's husband had died. Oh how my heart ached for her. She is my age, and they were married for almost 5 years, just like Adam and I had been. I hurt for her. And I was so frustrated because I did not know how to reach out to her, what words to use, what was culturally appropriate, what would be received, etc. She is a believer, and had God to lean on. At the time the only thing I felt I knew I could do was write her a note and I made her a CD of songs that touched my heart, and still do, during my time of grieving. We had an opportunity to meet and talk briefly one time last spring. But then she was out of town again finishing up some studies and visiting people (also a similarity as I was gone from my Charlotte home and traveling a bit the first 6 months after Adam died).

In the fall we finally had a chance to spend some time together. I was hoping I could encourage her, or at least be an understanding ear for her. I think I was. But it felt so nice to talk with someone who understood. I hate that she can understand, that she too had to lose her husband so young. But I am thankful that God allowed us to know each other. I am thankful that my experience can be of some use, some hope, for another. The evening was a little funny, me speaking from my heart in English (I am not at that point yet in German) and her responding and speaking from her heart in German, and both of us understanding each other's hearts because our experiences, and our God is bigger than our pain. I have made friends here, and have been able to grow deeper in my friendships with some people I knew from before. But talking with this woman, whom I barely knew, was so comforting. Our stories were not exactly alike, none ever are, but there were a lot of similarities. The biggest one being that we know God is in control, loves us, and is good. I know she has further to go in her grieving, as I do yet too, but I know God will continue to care for her and heal her, as he has, and is and will yet do for me.