One of my sisters went to the doctor for some physical pain she was having, but the meds they gave did not help. My other sister asked her why she had rated her pain to the doctor lower than what she was really feeling. She replied, "after experiencing childbirth, all other pain seems so much less".
It is like that with my grief. After having experienced the loss of Adam, all other losses seem so much less. When people ask me if I miss my family or friends or life in general in America, they are usually surprised to hear me say 'not really'. Of course I do miss them, but there is not a pain in missing them that I felt, and still feel at times, in missing Adam.
And whatever pains or fears I face here in Germany or in ministry, they are nothing to the pain and fears I faced when Adam died. And just as God was with me and provided for me then, He is still with me and providing for me now in these other things.
Tuesday it will be three years since Adam died. The pain has lessened, but God is ever still so great.
Wow, what a thought! Thanks for sharing that - in reading it I hoped that in hearing it from you I would not have to learn to deal with pain by experiencing something so remarkably painful first. (Like stomping on someone's toe to distract them from feeling a hurt finger).
ReplyDeleteLove ya! I pray your ministry is great in Germany!